What’s Up David,
So my husband just asked me what I was doing and I told him I was writing to the guy who did the funny email thing about doing a book signing at Barnes & Noble but they won’t let him. Then he asked me why I was writing you, which was surprising, mostly because you and me are both published authors (high five!) and everyone should just assume from now on that we are acquianted. Just like you and my husband were likely acquainted at one point because you’re both from Australia. He’s been living here in the States for over 25 years, but I’m sure you remember him. His name is Mauro. I’ll tell him you said hi.
The real reason I’m writing this letter to you is A) I’m really bored, and B) I want you to read my new book Bent: How Yoga Saved My Ass and then write something amazing and heartfelt about it. This should only take you three, maybe four days tops. I promise I won’t edit it too much. FYI, words like and “marvelous” and “exquisite” are always great to include. Same with phrases like “instant classic,” or even “funky good.” And while you’re at it, I’m also hoping you can put a link to my blog up on your blog with all the other cool blogs you have up. It would be like free advertising. Unless this is a service you charge for, which would make you kind of a dick. Besides, I really don’t know if my publishing company has very much money in the marketing budget for that kind of thing and to be honest, I’m a little afraid to ask them considering Rick Astley is on your list and no one cares about Rick Astley. You could always give me your log in information so I could just do it myself and save you the trouble. So much easier.
Not to sound pushy, David, but Bent comes out January 9th. That is less than two weeks away, so I’m going to have to ask you that you take care of this as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I don’t have an extra book to send you but there is an excerpt up on Amazon. You could use that. Just punch in my name on there and be careful to not get me confused with the singer Anna Clendening, who was a contestant on “America’s Got Talent” recently and who has nothing to do with me even though I’ve gotten many Facebook messeges from random people congratulating me on my very moving performances. And if I don’t hear back from you, I’ll assume you’re not paying attention and you actually did get me confused with Anna Clendening. Then I’ll have to keep emailing you, which I really resent having to do so please don’t make me.
I’m excited to see what you come up with. Feel free to Skype me if you have any questions. It might be tricky with the time difference, but I’m sure we can figure something out. We authors need to stick together. Until then, happy reading!
P.S. The books are already printed, but if you bust ass on this it may not be too late to include your comments in a folded piece of paper inside each one. I don’t know. Just a thought.
P.P.S. Please don’t go tweeting out Star Wars spoilers like that anymore. Some of us haven’t seen it yet. Thanks.