A Post Every Day Until I'm Fifty Bent: the Book Life Life in L.A.

“Author Questionnaire”

March 8, 2016

“Compose a list of ten questions with answers about your book that you can discuss in an interview.”

This is part of the stuff the marketing people sent me for “Bent.” Hmmm… what would people possibly want to discuss with me in an interview…

1. What is your book about?

It’s about my life and stuff, stuff like growing up in L.A., my preoccupation with pounding sugar cubes as a kid which no doubt led to a short but action-packed struggle with alcoholism which in turn led me to get sober in rooms full of other fuck ups at 22, embrace eastern philosophy (despite my white chick-ness, and my L.A.-ness), avoid the trappings of self-created suffering and stupidity in life and become a secret superhero with the power to make you give me money to read the book version of all this.

2. Do you really have superhero powers?

Yes, yes I do. (OK, the actual answer is no. I’m wasting questions. And I’m clearly not taking this seriously.)

3. But if you could choose a superhero power, what would it be?

I would clone myself so that 16 of me can be writing 16 chapters of this book at the same time so I could get it in way under deadline. Which isn’t really a superhero power. It’s just science.

4. Do you like science?

I guess, but I was mostly thinking about the clone thing because of Alien: Resurrection where Ellen Ripley, who pretty much dies during childbirth at the end of Alien 3, is now a strong-ass clone of herself and makes that basketball shot from all the way at the other end of the court.

5. How many times have you seen the movie Alien?

I’ll put it to you this way: I’m watching it right now. (Read what I wrote about it here for the Horrorpalooza series.)

6. Why are you calling your book “Bent?” Are you gay?

Because “Poser” was taken. And “Bent” is more of a punch in the face. And no, I’m not gay, just kind of “off,” in a “Hannibal Lecter is actually super sexy to me” kind of way, and you know, ‘cuz yoga makes you bendy.

7. Have you ever punched anyone in the face?

No, but I threw a drink in someone’s face once. I always wanted to do that.

8. If you could punch someone in the face, who would it be?

The guy who once called my writing “sexist claptrap” because of this article. Whatever.

9. Can you give us one juicy detail from the book?

I can tell you about the first person I ever met who did yoga: “One look at him, and I knew. I knew his life was empty. I knew he was needy. I knew he’d probably never been to Lollapalooza, and that yoga must be his only friend. But he had the unwavering look of someone who knows stuff that you don’t, and in his eyes was an answer to a remark that hadn’t been made because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or anything, and suddenly he’s Agent Starling and I’m on the opposite side of a glass wall (the one reserved for the unenlightened) and I see it, I see him silently confront me and ask me if I’m strong enough to point that high-powered perception at myself. And the zinger: ‘Or maybe you’re afraid to.’” We’ll see. I’m still working on that one.

10. What is your philosophy on life?

“Sometimes, you just have to say what the fuck.”

I don’t know if any of this will fly. I might need more coffee. Or less. Pray for me.

“It is my aim, and every effort bent, that the sum and history of my life, which in the same sentence is my obit and epitaph too, shall be them both: He made the books and he died.” ~William Faulkner

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