A Post Every Day Until I'm Fifty Life

Millennials Are So Deprived

December 20, 2015

So I just came across this article from Rolling Stone: “50 Things Millennials Have Never Heard Of.” First of all:

mil·len·nial

miˈlenēəl/
noun
plural noun: millennials; plural noun: Millennials: a person reaching young adulthood around the year 2000; a Generation Y-er.

I wouldn’t think such a savvy generation would be so deprived of such joys. The highlights:

Marky Mark & the Funky Bunch. Yeah, Mark Wahlberg is in those movies with the stuffed animal. But before that he was a little underage thug/felon/boybander/rapper and Calvin Klein underwear model with sick abs.

Temple of the Dog. And by extension, Mother Love Bone. Grunge: lame word. Good shit.

Ross Perot. Two things: he ran for president a bunch of times even though he was never going to win, and he was super short. That’s pretty much all you need to know.

The Bee Girl. If you’re my age and you don’t know, I don’t know what to say.

Getting film developed. Actual rolls of film, which you would have to buy in the first place. And it took, like, a day, before one hour photo. It wasn’t the worst thing—when was the last time you held a photo in your hand?

Answering machines. I remember before answering machines, when if the person wasn’t home, tough titties. You would have to just try back later. Unless someone was home to “take a message.”

Nick from “Family Ties.” There are other Nicks: Chachi Arcola. Dylan McKay. Snake from “The Facts of Life.” Today we have Tyga. They might have a tattoo or an earring. They make your parents nervous.

Nelson (the band). Jesus. What are they doing now? And have they cut their hair I wonder?

Floppy discs. Yup, they were floppy. And be careful, you can scratch them.

Read it for more:

50 Things Millennials Have Never Heard Of

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